Christmas

So of course tonight I decide to write after I've already shut down my laptop.  So...I broke out the tablet. :-)

I will say, it's kinda tough to type regular style on this thing.  It's very touchy, lol. So I'm doing the best that I can.

Christmas day started out with being able to sleep in til about 11 am.  I got up, took a shower and then took the laptop out into the living room to set up in front of the tree.  I called mom over Skype and then the presents opening began.  Other than my tablet and docking station, I got a nice gift from my grandma, a gift certificate from my sister and a while wox full of little things from my aunt.  (The dog loves her angry bird). 

After presents my friend came over to hang out and we watched some christmas shows on TV before heading over to another friend's house.  There we ate ham, mashed potatoes, stuffing and had a few dirty martinis to celebrate.

I had to work yesterday and work today but then get the next two days off. 

Ill post more when I get my laptop running tomorrow.

Sweet dreams.

Toshiba Thrive!!

Christmas Blues

So, I don't know if I've just been kidding myself or if it's the holiday blues that are getting to me. 

My job is barely paying the bills now.  I had such a good cushion before I started my trip that I don't think I was as frugal as I should have been.  There was plenty.  And now that I've been living off that savings for about 6 months....I'm feeling the pinch.  And I would work more, but apparently everyone else wants to too and there just aren't enough shifts to go around.  I've filled out about 4 applications in the last 2 weeks.  2 of them today.  I honestly don't know how people can survive on minimum wage.  I barely have any bills and if I don't do something soon, I will be struggling. 

I've also come to realize that while I had ambitions to be a jellyfish....I really don't think I am.  And maybe it took all of this....everything that's happened since my decision in June to find that out.  Stability, planning, structure.  Those are not bad things.  They're just different.  And I guess it took me 'bucking the system' to figure that out.  Having a set work schedule is nice.  It's easy, convenient.  Right now my work schedule is all over the place.  Kinda like how I feel my life is. 

I keep trying to hold on to all my memories of Oregon in the summer.  The sun came out today...after having been gone for a while.  And just stood out on the back porch with my face directly in it's path.  I'm sure I must have looked like an idiot if anyone could have seen me.  But it felt so good.  I felt like Superman, recharging in the sun.  I guess it's time to go and buy some Vitamin D but it's not the same.  

Tomorrow (actually today because I'm up so late) is Christmas Eve.  And then it'll be Christmas Day.  The first in my 31 years that I have spent away from my family.  I miss them.  And in the scale that is my life...they weigh down so much more than Oregon does right now. 

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers this holiday season.  If I pull my 'big girl pants' up any higher there'll be no reason for me to even wear a shirt, lol. 

3 Days - A Week at Most

Last night, as I was crawling into bed thinking about how I hadn't posted on here in a while, the perfect topic came to me but I was too lazy to log back into the computer and post.  (That will all change once Christmas gets here ;) )

I didn't get my new DL the other day when I said I was going to.  I have no good reason for delaying.  But there were lots of things running through my head.  What if I decide to leave?  (Oregon does car registration for 2 years at a time.)  What if this and what if that...

And that's when I decided that I need to start living my life within a manageable time period.  Who knows what's going to happen next year.  Or even over the next 6 months.  The next month.  Or even next week.  I know personally that a lot of the setbacks or hangups in my life are because I'm trying to bite off more than I can chew or that I try to predict the future, anticipate what's coming. 

I don't know what's going to happen.  6 months ago if you had told me I would be here, living in Oregon under the circumstances that I am (meaning - with no contact from HIM what-so-ever), I would have thought you were crazy.  But who knew I would like it here unless I came here.  Who knows where I'll be in 6 months from now.  All I can do is react to the 'here and now'.  I've decided to make that 3 days, a week at most.  Adding into that, things that I have 100% planned or would like to do. 

So with that said....the FL DMV needs me to change my info.  I can do that.  I can react to that request now with no hesitation.  I'll worry about everything else later, when I get to it.  :)

Dirty Martini Time :D

Break time!!

Yummy Yummy goodness :)

Daylight

I have five clocks in my life
and only one has the time right
i’ll just unplug it for today
ill just unplug it for today

open hydrant rolled down windows
this car might make a good old boat
and float down grand street in daylight
and float down grand street in daylight

and with just half of a sunburn
new yellow lines that i earned
step back and here comes the night time
step back and here comes the night time

and in the daylight we can hitchhike to maine
i hope that someday i’ll see without these frames
and in the daylight i don’t pick up my phone
cause in the daylight anywhere feels like home

Blinding

Felt it in my fist, in my feet, in the hollows of my eyelids
Shaking through my skull, through my spine and down through my ribs

No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone
No more calling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love
No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world...

They're figuring it out!!

The Florida DMV has figured out that something isn't right and are going to suspend my license in a month if things aren't fixed.  I thought I was being the responsible adult when I changed my car insurance from FL to OR but apparently FL doesn't like it when a car is registered there but doesn't have insurance.  So needless to say....I will be walking into the OR DMV on Monday to get an official OR DL and tags.  I thought about just switching the insurance back to FL but I have a horrible poker face and wouldn't have been able to lie when the question of "Where is the vehicle being housed?" is brought up. 

Legally and analytically, it's only right to change.  I guess I would blame the emotions on why it's tough to think about.

My Florida tags are the only thing left that's tying me to back home.  Once those are off, I will officially be an Oregon resident.  I know that I live and work here already.  And I'd rather pay the money to switch than to get pulled over and have to pay a huge fine and/or tickets.  It's just weird to me.  I've had a FL DL all my life. 

Sharing is Caring

The best feeling in the world isn't falling in love...

It's finally falling out of love with someone who never loved you.

    

Drinking and Blogging...

Ok, so I've had a few drinks and it's 145 in the morning but for some reason I felt the need to get on here and post. 

I had a GREAT night tonight even though it wasn't too long.  I got to go out with my awesome roommates and they took me to a couple of the strip clubs here in Eugene.  Very, very interesting.  I have to say...the Nugget in PC is a lot classier than the two I went to tonight.  But then again....it's wednesday and that usually doesn't mean you get the top quality weekend girls.  And I also should probably mention that I'm 31 for those of you who are probably cringing at the fact that I said 'strip club'.  I don't contribute but usually most of them have pretty decent music and there's booze, so....

It just felt nice to cut loose and go with the flow. 

In other news, I found a listing for grocery store wine sampler on Craigslist so I went ahead and applied.  It's something different, something that I HOPE will get me out there meeting new people and stuff.  So I hope that I get it and should also be able to do that and work at Macy's.  They have such a great discount.  AND it works on clearance stuff, so...

Well, that's all that's really going on with me.  Thankfully I don't have to be to work tomorrow until 545 and I'm thinking that tomorrow will be a nice IHOP pancake breakfast morning.  With some bacon.  Maybe some scrambled eggs.  I would love some heavenly hash or some hashbrowns covered and chunked and smothered and all that but they don't have Waffle House here.  :( 

O well...

Kare Bear STARE!!!

Found the cutest sweater at work and couldn't help but buy it.

Room Pics

ROOM #1

ROOM #2

 

December

Wow, where has the year gone??  There are only 22 days left til Christmas and I feel like this year has flown by me in one huge blur.  So many life changes and heartaches.  I hope that 2012 is by far way better then this year. 

The job is going well.  I've gotten the hang of it even though it gets a little boring at times and isn't very stimulating.  At least there is income coming in instead of me blowing through all of my savings.  I'll admit it took a few weeks to get used to getting up, getting presentable and getting somewhere on time.  I'm still undecided as to whether I want to stay on with Macy's or look for something else.  By the middle of January we'll see where I stand. 

Homesickness is kicking in and I'm having good days and bad days.  I'm trying to concentrate on the positive, but I really miss my family.  Especially this time of year.  We're going to celebrate it through skype so that should be interesting.  :) 

I LOVE that I decided to move from the one house to this one.  I'm still working on my room but I promise that as soon as it's done I'm going to post Room #1 and Room #2 pictures so that you can see the difference.  Plus my new roomies are awesome and are a lot more social than my last ones.  They drag me everywhere. :)  Sasha is doing really well being the only dog again.  Danielle is bringing her dogs back from Arizona later this month so hopefully with Sasha being the 'already established' dog, it won't be an issue.  Plus D's dogs are Sasha's size and not huge.  Big dogs overwhelm her. 

So all in all, I'm doing good.  Battling the holidays blues, loving my new room, bored with my job and trying to take one day at a time.  Oh, and drinking lots of beer.  Good, locally brewed beer.  It's a good thing I stand and walk all day at my job or else I'd have a beer belly going on, lol.

Owie

My feet, legs and back hurt.  Not horribly, but just aching.  I guess I never realized how awesome I had it sitting down all day until now.  Working retail is pretty interesting.  You would not believe how messy the sales floor can get with so many people shopping.  All I ask is that, please, if you knock something off the rack by accident, just pick it up and hang it back on the shelf.  Is it really that hard?

In other news, I've also decided to move into Danielle and Kenny's place tomorrow.  The room is bigger.  I'll have my own bathroom (that I'll have to share with guests but for the most part is mine) and the rent is cheaper.  Not excited about the move, but I am ready for some more breathing space. 

I've been making new friends and hanging out with them.  Wednesday night I went out with a guy named Brian and had a good time.  Thanksgiving was awesome and a light bulb is just now going off in my head as I realize that I have left-overs in the fridge. :)  It's late but I've only had one meal today so I could use some turkey to put me to sleep. 

All in all, things are looking good.  Can't wait til the money starts rolling in and I can stop living like someone who hasn't worked in months, lol. 

Thanksgiving 2011

Today was a really great day that I was able to spend with my new friends here in Oregon.  We ate, played games and just had a great time. Tomorrow I get to brave the traffic and chaos and head to work, another thing I'm thankful for having....a job.  I'm also moving rooms from the house I'm in now to D's house where I will have a larger room, my own bathroom and two new awesome roommates.  I had no idea this is where I would be at the first of the year but I'm grateful for all the experiences that led me here and thankful for the new memories and experiences I have yet to make.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. :)

Backpack dog!!

Bike Ride!!!

So God, or the universe or whatever you believe in heard my prayer last night and today was a beautiful, sunny day.  So I loaded up the dog in a backpack and set out.  I love the bike trails here.  It was different hauling the dog...I could definitely feel those extra pounds.

I'm feeling a lot better about things.  I've cleaned a few things out of my cluttered mind and I have a much more positive outlook.

It's amazing what a day of sunshine can do. :)

2:30am (pacific time)

I don't like how I'm feeling right now.  I have cabin fever.  I got a job today....at Macy's.  But I have a few classes to take before I can actually start and they seem forever away.  One on the 15th and another on the 20th.  I'm gonna be screwed by the time black friday gets here.  A newbie on the floor.  I suppose I can't complain.  It's only seasonal so it's not forever.  I just wish it could have been something I started now.  Tomorrow.  ASAP.

I want a boyfriend.  Or maybe just my very own cuddle friend.  Someone dedicated to how I feel and what I want.  I know I said I wouldn't refer but it's hard having someone so familiar to me in the same town and hating his guts at the same time.  But then....we've always had that love/hate relationship.

The weather is getting gloomy now.  I need to come up with a good 'biking in the cold' outfit so that I can still go and do that.  As it is now, I just sleep in and then bum around the house all day.  It sounds fun at first but trust me, it gets old.  I'm so ready to join society again.  I think it might help me with the weird helpless feeling I have going on now.   That and I need to meet people. 

I wish knowing what I wanted was easy for me to see at this point.  Right now I just feel gloomy.  Like Eeyore.  I need someone to come and pin my tail back on.  Maybe the tack sticking into my butt will snap me back into reality.  :/

Dear diary,

It's true...

An idle mind is the devil's playground.

And my devil is going 'round and 'round on the merry-go-round that is my conscienceness.

*heavy sigh*

Fall Bike Trail

 *Just click on the picture to make it bigger. :)

Can't sleep...:(

It's really 4 in the morning and I'm laying here wide awake. For some reason I can't get my mind to stop. It's thinking in so many directions, I'm muddled and wish I could quiet it down.

So ready for sleep...

Time for a J-O-B...

Well, not too much happening around the house lately.  I switched my car insurance yesterday and today I put in an address change.  I also applied to Macy's for a seasonal, temporary job.  It stuck out at me and sounded fun.  Plus it's less than a 5 minute drive from my house, so that'll be sweet. 

I've been taking the dog to the park a lot and just trying to get out of the house here and there.  Today we walked around Petsmart, the park and I swung by World Market to get my favorite ginger snap cookies that only come out in the fall. 

Tomorrow I'm going to run to the Saturday market since it won't be around during the winter and get some lunch.  I hope that Macy's gets back to me and that I can start work soon.  Monday, whether I've heard something or not, I'm going to start applying to a lot more places.  Just keep your fingers crossed. :)

I have an "O"!!

Wounds

Sometimes I think that maybe time shouldn't heal all wounds. Maybe sometimes there are wounds that still need to ooze so that you know they're there. They need to fester so that you can remember the pain.  Healing is great and all, but once you're better, whose to say you don't go right ahead and open that same wound....the one you forgot all about.

Right now I'd rather have the festering sore than to be completely ok. :/

No one freak out....these are ranting of someone awake at 1:55am.

Chilly Cheeks

The weather is going to get crappy soon so today I bundled up and got out the bike.  Sasha wasn't happy about being left alone, but I haven't gotten a basket for her yet and she didn't like it when I put her in a backpack.  I forgot gloves, so my hands were freezing by the time I got home, but I did miss it and I got some really great pics I'll have to upload soon. 

I'm finding that the cold here is all mind over matter and to dress warmly where ever I go.  I found some really awesome, super fluffy, indoor/outdoor slippers that I pretty much wear whenever I can.  I'm thinking of going back to the store and getting another pair if they're still on sale.

Mom's birthday was today and I sent her a card and some Mountain Men candy that she has been thinking about for the last 10 years. Dad got her a laptop as a present since she liked using mine while I was there for a month and I made her a skype account so that we could video chat.  She loves it and we video now every few days.  I'm making progress on my room and as soon as it's finished I'm going to take a quick video for you folks at home.  Even one of my roomies noted how it now looks like an actual bedroom instead of how sparce it was before I brought all my crap back. 

I still need to switch my car insurance and buy a plane ticket to Vegas for dad's birthday.  Last I looked it'll be $167, round-trip from Eugene to Vegas....non stop.  I am so excited about this news, lol.  I haven't found a job yet but I will start actively looking next week and we'll see what happens.  For now I'm just settling in, hanging out with friends and adjusting to living in a world with seasons.  I'll keep the pictures coming.  Happy November everyone. :)

Sasha in the Park

Damn it feels good to be a Gangsta...

Halloween!

Halloween party tomorrow night!  Pics to come. :)

The Park

I missed the park.  It was a gorgeous day today so I decided to take the dog and show her my favorite part (so far) of Eugene.  As I sat there n the grass taking everything in, it was hard to believe that this whole Oregon journey started in that park.  I was on that bridge wavering as to whether I wanted to continue on or not.  It was there that I decided to stay.  And I remember the numerous times over the summer that I wished the dog could be with me, enjoying the weather and the grass; taking everything in.


Today, she was able to join me.  And she loved it. 

I'm Here

Wow...so much stuff happening I don't even know where to begin. 

It was really hard leaving my family in Panama City but after the second day of driving, the sadness faded a little and I got excited for the new life I was driving towards in Oregon.  Thankfully, driving here was pretty uneventful.  I drove, stopped, drove stopped, etc.  And now that I'm back here, in my room with my stuff....it feels like I never left and that going to Florida was just a dream.  And while I'm not in the car anymore, it's hard to believe that I drove there and back.  It seemed like it took forever and then didn't happen all at the some time. 

Right now I'm just getting settled back in and trying to get the dog accommodated to living with other people/dogs.  She's doing good, I just think it's going to take time.

Last night after I got the car unpacked and settled my stuff in, I went to visit D at the restaurant.  She had text me that she was excited I'm back and that I should come up and see her.  I needed a drink and Matt was home last night not feeling well so I left the dog in his care and left.  I got to see a few other people at the restaurant and came home and passed out. Today I went to get the car washed, ran to walmart and tonight I'm going to work some more on my room.  It's still a work in process, lol.

Northern Oregon - Mt Hood

Chasing the Sun

Salina, KS

Just keep driving, just keep driving....what do we do?  we drive, drive.

So yesterday it was really really hard, emotionally, to leave my family.  And while I'm sure it was really hard for them to see me go, they are all 3 very supportive in my decision to leave and are excited for me and can't wait to come and visit some time next year. 

The drive is definitely more interesting than taking the southern route, but with the trade off comes the traffic.  St Louis to Kansas City was very crowded.  I'm also driving in a car so packed the rear view is now just for decoration, lol.  I can't wait to unload the car and I'm sure the car will be glad too.  She's really loaded down.

So far I haven't gotten the clarity or the into my weird thought process like I did from Oregon to PC.  I think it has to do with the dog and being wrapped up in her comfort.  I've been stopping more often for potty breaks and, come to think of it, there is more to see so I'm not staring off into the blank sandy horizon.  Tomorrow might be a little more uneventful so we'll see what happens. 

Well, I need to go and check out the map and the weather to figure out my route for the next fews days.  I'm hoping to get internet again tomorrow night so I'll post if I do.  :)

Walking in Memphis

Writing from my cell phone tonight so my post isn't going to be super long.  I have lots of emotions I'm dealing with....I'll have to expound on those when I can actually type with all fingers and not thumbs. The dog seems to be doing ok...although I wish she could just talk to me and tell me what she's thinking.  I got on the road at about noon after several packing, unpacking, re-packing attempts. Had to leave a few things behind but they're easily replacable. I'm already tired of driving and I've got 5 more days.  Lucky me..lol.

Rain Delay

Yesterday was such a pretty day and I got a lot done that I needed to do.  Driving in Oregon had gotten me accustomed to riding with the windows down so even though it was in the low 90's here in Florida, I toughed it out.  What I forgot that happens here in Florida is the random rainstorms.  I didn't roll my windows up all the way yesterday....left them a little cracked.  Needless to say, when I finally remembered they were down....it was too late.  All the seats in my car are wet.  I had to run a few errands earlier today so I busted out a towel and a shower curtain to sit on.  Dad and I went out with a wet vac to try and get up some of the water but that wasn't really working.  We had a space heater going in there this evening and I'm crossing my fingers that tomorrow is going to be a warm sunny day to dry up the seats.

So long story short....I'm not leaving tomorrow.  I'm not mad.  A little disappointed maybe.  And a very small part of me is the tiniest bit relieved.  I'm so ready to go back to Oregon...but I'm still sad about saying goodbye to my family. 

It was easy to leave the first time, because I thought I would be back in all my misery.  Having had great adventures but returning to the boring 'ole Panama City.  Now that I'm going to a place that I like with lots of un-expectations, knowing that I won't be returning here....the finality is setting in.  I'll be honest; I'm scared.  Having to decide for certain what kind of things to pack is hard.  Wondering if I should bother with this or leave that makes the whole process feel very very real.  The things in my storage shed...who knows when I'll see them again.  :/

So for now I'm still getting things together and I'm going to enjoy another night here with my family.  In the big picture...there is probably a reason for the delay.  For now, I'm here for another night. 

Pretty!

Girls Night Out!!

2 Days

And so vacation time ends and the trek back to the real world begins.  I've bought a cargo bag for the roof of the car and a little dog car seat for the dog so she can be comfortable on the ride back.  Tomorrow I'm going to the storage shed to dig through my boxes for the items I'm wanting to take back to Oregon and Tuesday I'll be packing up the car.

The biggest thing that's going to be hard for my parents is knowing that this time I leave down the street...I won't be coming back.  I've thought about that a lot over the last few days.  Even though I feel giddy and so ready to get back, they are not really looking forward to it.  I know they are excited for me to continue on living my life, but since I come from a very close family, it's hard.  I'm planning on going to Las Vegas for dad's birthday, Laura is coming to OR next summer to visit as is mom and dad.  So I'm not sure when the next time I'll be back in Panama City.  The people I'll miss, but definitely not the city.

I'm feeling very optimistic about my return to Eugene.  The friends that I've made miss me, I already have a Halloween party to go to when I get back.  And I'm so ready to begin the usual shennanigans with D and everyone.  Matt is ready to meet the new member of the 'wolf pack', lol, and I am ready to finish decorating my room and then finding a job.  Living the easy life is fun....but my fundage won't last forever. 

Oregon, ready or not....here I come, lol.

Family Cruise (Continued)

Ok, so back to the cruse narrative.  Sunday (boarding day), we were able to quickly get on board and had to head to the buffet for lunch before our rooms were ready.  The food was excellent and I tried to get a picture of all the fun and groovy stuff we got to eat.  After lunch we all headed down to our rooms to drop off our bags and relax.  Since we weren't leaving port that night, the casino and shops couldn't open (had to be in international waters for that) so we just bummed around the ship, had dinner at 6 and watched the shows onboard. 

Monday was a day on the water and Laura, Chris and I headed up to the deck to lay out and get some sun.  I think I got it all because I'm still really red and starting to peel.  Oh, and that was also the day my throat started to get scratchy.  Yeah, I came down with a cold while on the trip.  I'm still trying to get rid of my cough. 

So, I won't bore you with a play by play of the whole cruise but we definitely had fun.  I can't wait to go on another one and already have my eye on one out of Tampa for next time.  I have been to Nassau several times and Freeport was horrible.  Next cruise is going to be to the Western Bahamas.

Now I'm just getting ready for the return trip back to Oregon and I can't wait to get settled up there and begin.  I'm going to miss my family, but I'm excited at the same time. :)

2011 Wackowski Family Cruise

So...

We left Panama City this past Saturday at around 7:30am to head to Gainesville to pick up mom's friend Carol.  Wouldn't you know that after we got her and kept on truckin' to Orlando, there would be a huge rain storm.  (The first real rain that I had seen in about 3 months...)  It was so bad and so icky that there were no shennanigans to be had in Orlando.  We ran to Walmart to pick up a few last minute things and get something to eat and spent the rest of the afternoon in our hotel rooms.  :(

The next day (it was still drizzly) we headed toward Port Canaveral crossing our fingers that it wouldn't rain the whole cruise.  The storm was so bad that the captain decided to keep us docked for the first night (we were supposed to set sail at 4pm) until 7am the next morning and they initially did away with our second port-of-call, Freeport.  Once we got going and the storm had passed, it was smooth sailing.  We were able to visit Nassau and also got to go to Freeport the day after. 

I had a ton of fun and can't wait to cruise again. :)

I'm gonna cut things a little short tonight because I'm tired and really ready for bed.  It's been a long day.  I'll fill you in on more details tomorrow. 

Cruise Pictures!! (Narrative Post to come)

There are 216 pictures so just select to see the full album after the slide show.  Or just click into photobucket and look at them all at the same time.  I didn't edit anything so you're getting it raw and uncut, lol.

ENJOY!!

In the states...

On the way back to PC from Port Canaveral...I'm gonna give a full report, post pictures and video once we make it back. Had lots of fun!!

Orlando Eve

Well, I just finished packing, preparing and making a fun driving cd for the car. :)  Am I the only person who listens to a new song that they like over and over and over again?  My car passengers are going to hate me, lol. ;P

I can't wait to get on the road tomorrow.  We're heading to Gainesville first to pick up mom's friend then on to Orlando for the night.  Who knows what kind of shennanigans we'll get into there but then on Sunday it's off to the cruise ship.  The food alone is making me antsy, lol.  I've decided not to take my laptop with me so I'll have to update when I get back but I AM taking my good camera and my backup camera so there should be plenty of pictures and video.  I can't wait!

Other than that, not really too much has been going on.  It's been hella hot here.  I think I'll be ready for the rain. 

In parting, here is a sample of the driving cd I made tonight:
*Pumped Up Kicks - Foster the People
*Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO
*Moves Like Jagger - Maroon 5
*Super Bass - Nicki Minaj
*Til the World Ends - Britney Spears

October!

Welcome to October and the new and hopefully improved blog.  It's probably going to change a lot in the next few weeks as I figure out what direction I really want things to move in.  I just know that I wanted to get rid of the black, dark vibe...even though the background picture was of a sunset.  Or sunrise depending on how you looked at it.  So just keep in mind that the layout may not stay the same from day to day.  I guess it'll just depend on how I feel. :)

I've been back in PC for a week now and find it hard not to keep saying how much I wish I was back in Oregon.  I don't want to make my friends and family here feel bad.  I AM looking forward to the cruise next week.  And I've managed to find a new storage shed.  Cheaper but not smaller.  I'm going through stuff to grab what I want to take back with me but I pared down so much when I moved into the shed, I just wasn't ready to get rid of more stuff.  Basically though, I am doing the same thing I was doing up in Oregon, it's just uber hot here and I don't have my bike and bike trails. :(  Just sleeping and passing the time, lol.

I've got a new hairdo that I need to take pictures of and get up.  It's short, black and very sassy. ;)  It makes me feel like my evil twin.  Well....maybe not evil, but definitely gives me an extra mischievous twinkle in my eye.  I have a feeling I'm going to embarrass my sister on this cruise but it'll be good for her.

So, for now...not too much going on.  Come to think of it, I feel a little deja vu-ish.  Months ago I was writing in my blog waiting for things to happen and feeling antsy, lol. 

Sleepiness

I'm so sleepy but I haven't written in a few days and if you aren't one of my facebook friends then you're probably wondering if I made it to Panama City safely.

I am here and completely exhausted but catching up on sleep and very excited that I'm not in a moving car.  It was surreal driving up the road I grew up on and coming into the house.  Now that I'm here for the second night, Oregon feels like a dream.  I miss it.  I miss the weather and the geography.  I miss my new friends and even my room.  

I have a lot to do before the cruise and a lot of stuff to go through and figure out what I'm taking back with me.  I'm not looking forward to that part, but it has to be done.  

It's nice to see the family.  I missed them.  We're gonna have a lot of fun on our cruise. :)

This is what happens...

When I spend lots of time driving....I think.

I have 2 topics to write about but I'm exhausted so I may have to expand on them later.

1.  Where do thoughts come from?  How to they appear in our heads and what makes us either act on them or not act on them?  I know that scientifically they are charging electrons from synapse to synapse but where does the actual topic originate from?  Our subconscious?  Are we born with them and they just rear their heads at the time we're mature enough to blurt them?  

There have been so many random, insightful, healing, teaching thoughts that have presented themselves on my trip that it's probably meant to be that I didn't fly.

2.  I've learned that it is far more fun to drive with no destination in mind than it is to drive towards something specific.  If I could physically drive straight through I would.  All I want right now is to see my family and hold my dog.  My little dog keeps me going.  

Ok, 2 more days and I'll be there.  For now, I need to get some sleep. :)

Driving fool...

It's hard to believe I'm heading back to Florida today. I'm so excited to see the fam and my friends, and of course go on the cruise. But I still can't believe how serendipitous it was to find my place here in Oregon. I can't wait to get back for more great adventures. :)

Beach House!!

So yummy

Crab legs

Potatoes au gratin

Coast

Awesome day at the coast. First time for crab legs and fish and chips for a mid day snack. Definitely opening my seafood horizons. Love my friends...

:)

The Big Cry

Well, it's taken me a week but today I cried.  Long and hard, for so many reasons.  I cried for all of the decisions that I have made, haven't made, are too scared to make, regret making....and I feel really good.  

I'm driving away from Oregon in less than a week.  My dilemma was: should I come back or once I get to PC, will I want to?  It's hard to find your 'place' when you have no job and no real human interaction everyday.  I have roommates, but while I LOVE living with guys because they stay out of your business...well, they do just that.  Girl feelings are hard enough for me to live with.  I don't want to come home one day to my stuff just chillin' on the front lawn, lol. ;)


I had thought about going back to Panama City, possibly to return for good.  But I don't think that helps me.  And I think I would regret not giving Eugene, Oregon a chance.  I like it here.  And I'm pretty sure that once I get a job, hang out more with my new friends and don't have so much free time influencing my thoughts, that things will be much better.  I've decided that I would more so regret permanently moving back to Florida than I would coming back to Oregon and giving it a chance.  I still want to go to a Ducks game.  I want to take my dog to the park and watch her run around.  I still love biking.  I'm going to the coast for a couple of days tomorrow.  And I still want the people who can, come visit me so that I can show them around this great new city.  


I've decided that after the cruise, when I get back, that I'm starting a new blog.  Not a travel blog anymore but a life blog.  Something that I probably won't write in everyday but that I can turn to when I feel like either speaking my mind or filling in my friends and family of my experiences.  I'd like to think of myself as mending in certain regards, but I also know that life is a process that we take one day at a time.  Going 'back home' will recharge me.  Spending time with my family and friends will remind me that people are good.  Love is good.  Life is good. 

Last but not least...my mother is the most awesome person in the world and I would say that every day to her if it helps her when she has to listen to her crying daughter.  I love you mom. :) 

One Week

In one week I will be getting on the road for my trek back to Panama City.  I want to bring my car, but I don't want to drive, lol.  Can anyone figure that one out for me??  I can't wait to see everyone and my little dog, and all of the restaurants and clubs that I haven't been able to experience since I've been here in Oregon.  I'm excited. :)

This week I haven't really done much of anything too wild and crazy.  My check engine light came on the other day and I realized that the gas guy didn't put my gas cap back on tight enough.  I had to go to O'Reilly's and have them use the little thingy to make the light turn off.  She told me that if the light comes back on that it's more than just the gas cap and that I should go and have it looked at.  So far so good though.  I'm not sure if everyone knows this or not but it's illegal to pump your own gas in Oregon.  So note to self: check the gas cap when they're done....

I have found Grey's Anatomy on netflix so I have been having mini-marathons throughout the day.  I'll be glad when I get back here so that I can get a job and actually have a purpose, lol.  Still trying to figure out what I want to do but I know a few people that work at a local restaurant so maybe I can get in there.  If you've seen the movie "Waiting", lol, it's kinda like that.  But with no game.  I think it would be fun.  Definitely broaden my friend horizons.

Tomorrow I'm going bike riding, no matter what the weather is like and then the movie in the park.  Tomorrow's movie is Jaws.  Should be fun. :)  Saturday is a Ducks game but I don't think anyone will be able to go with me, they all have jobs, so I think I'm gonna head to the Saturday Market to wander around.  That veggie curry rice was good.  Sunday I'll probably just veg and do laundry to get ready for the coast trip on Monday.  A few of us (not sure how many) are going to head to the coast with food, booze and games and hang out for a few days.  I'm really looking forward to it and I'll be sure to take my camera.  We'll get back Thursday in time for me to do some more laundry, pack the car and get a good night's sleep to leave out on Friday.  

Whew!  I have a feeling this week is going to fly by!  :)

 

I miss my Cha-cha

Oh, how I miss my little pumpkins.  Just a few more weeks now and I'll be in PC gettin' puppy kisses from her.  I've decided to delay by a few days to go with some friends to the coast.  They're renting a house or cabin (don't remember which) and hanging out to eat, drink and be merry.  So it'll probably a few days later when I get on the road.  But I'll definitely take some great pics.  :)

 

Biking Clears My Head

Saturday fun! - Yesterday, my plan was to go get some pancakes and head out to Coburg for the 24th annual Antique Fair.  I got the pancakes, the fair was another story.  I had been up really late the night before and the fair was only from 8-4 so I missed it.  I had texted D to see if she wanted to come too but unfortunately she had to work.  She, of course, invited me up to the restaurant for a drink so at about 6ish, I headed up there.  

I had a couple of drinks, and then eventually some food.  It was really good. :)  Then D's boyfriend came to pick her up after her shift and we decided to all go out and check out some other bars.  After a couple of bars, another friend texted me to hang out so I went over there and ended up hanging out there for a while.  This morning I woke up a little late and decided to go on a bike ride to think about things.  

Tonight is going to be pretty chill.  Both the roomies are at work so I have the whole house to myself.

I am so Hap-pay!!

Frickin' awesome day today!!

I got up around 11, bright eyed and bushy tailed and made my way into the kitchen to make my coffee and toast.  I decided I didn't want to stay in the house today so my plan was: run to Borders for a few trashy romance novels and head to the park.  I packed my bag with a blanket and a bottle of water and was off!  If you haven't heard, Borders books is going bankrupt and right now all of the books still left were 80 to 90% off.  Yeppers, got my books for about 50 cents a piece, lol.

The park was awesome (as usual) and it was great to enjoy the weather.  Not very crowded out there today.  

After the park I decided to have my own little party back at the house and picked up some beer and clamato.  I got home, ate my leftover crab and artichoke dip and popped a cold one.  Just as my friend Kevin, whom I had coffee with the other day, texted me to see if I wanted to go out.  OF COURSE I DO!!  So he gave me about an hour time line, I finished my beer and headed downtown.  We stopped at a coupe of really awesome drinking joints and I got to meet a few of his friends.  I think I really impressed him because he went on to say how he had placed the ad in craiglist not really hoping for anything, but excited in the responses he received. (I found out that the other girl in our group had also met him through craigslist.)  It made me really think about life and especially how I got to where I was tonight, sitting at a table in Oregon meeting new people and drinking great beer.

I want to tell everyone that reads this blog.  If there's something you want or want to do...DO IT! Stop worrying about what everyone else will think, or if you're too old, or too poor, or too whatever.  We only have this one life and it's much too short to hate things that are going on around you or to you.  Put your desires out into the universe.  Pray.  Think positively.  Because honestly, with as much shit as I have received from people in the last 3 months....I am the happiest I have been in my entire life.  And I mean that as coming from every aspect of life.  I love where I live, who I associate with, what I do (and I plan to get a rewarding job).  I let go.  And I'm learning that it's the fun things that happen to you when you don't have a care in the world.  :)

 

So full....

Lord have mercy, I am stuffed!  McGrath's Fish house, so yummy.  Enjoy the pics. :)

Healthy Salad, lol

Crab and Artichoke Dip

Crab Cakes

Dessert Mojito