Ugh...

So of course, 5 days before I'm set to leave Oregon, I meet a really cute, funny and interested guy at the bar.  Go figure....

Had a great time drinking a few drinks with Danielle after her shift at the fish house.  Sat next to these two guys playing Thursday night trivia and BAM.  Suddenly we became part of their team.  It was amazing.  And yet just another PRO on the pro/con list of coming back up here. 

Mom has been asking me if I really and truly want to leave at all.  And I keep thinking about it. I just wish my family would move up here.  That would solve all my problems, lol.

I have girlfriends here for dance night.  There are concerts, bbq's, festivals, the coast and if all else fails....my beloved Alton Baker park.

I don't regret making my decision to move back home.  At the time I made it, I felt like I was doing the right thing.  I'm still excited to go back.  But I'm also starting to feel guilty at the fact that I feel just as excited (if not more) at the thought of moving back up here.  

I don't know what opportunities might present themselves when I go back home.  So, of course, I don't want to over think things.  And maybe I'm just having cold feet.  I just hate that at this stage of the game, I'm having these bittersweet feelings.

Eugene Emeralds Baseball Game

UNCONTAINABLE EXCITEMENT!!!

BT is going to be playing in Panama City Beach September 22!!

I am so excited I can hardly contain myself *giggle*

And there's NO ONE I can share it with right now because everyone is sleeping, lol.

So, before I try and get to sleep, here's my new favorite song of his:

Home Stretch

So I now have less than a week to get my room packed.  Sleeping on the bean bag bed has been interesting, lol.  It's very comfy.  More so than an air mattress.  And I think I'm going to enjoy that it's convertible.  I purchased the ultra plushy bed protector but because I won't be here to receive it, I sent it to FL.

I'm slowly but surely getting everything bagged and packed.  I should have my closet done by the end of the day today.  Going to bag up my dresser clothes tomorrow and start on sorting the odds and ends.  Yesterday I bought a new Road Atlas at the store along with some new windshield wipers and misc. stuff.  Sometime this week I'll also go and get the oil changed. 

I'm still hanging in there, emotionally.  Still really going to miss it here.  Still thinking about coming back.  More than likely after the rainy season, lol.  

Planning on doing some more sight-seeing this week as well.  Friend of mine and I are talking about going down to the Oregon Caves so we'll see.  I'm also looking into going to what they call the Blue Pool, officially known as Tamolitch.  I don't think it's that far so we'll see and of course I'll take tons of pictures. :)

Back to Basics

So, I'm feeling a lot better since my last post and here's why....

I went back to my roots.  I reminded myself of the notion that doing things alone is not always a problem.  I listened to my gut/instinct/intuition and decided to strike out on my own, like I had been doing for a while there.

It was the best thing for me today.

I headed to Proxy Falls.  I first fell in love with the falls more than 10 years ago when I had been searching for a new computer desktop wallpaper.  A quick search of waterfalls lead me to this amazingly beautiful (but obviously enhanced) picture of a fall.  After a little research, I found out where it was.  In 2002 I flew up to Oregon to visit Andrew after he had left Panama City to go to college at the U of O.  I never had a chance to get to the falls but promised myself that if I could ever make the trip up again, I would.

Well, since my time here in Oregon is fastly coming to a close, I packed a backpack, grabbed my camera and headed out on an adventure.  And I am SO glad I went by myself.  

It was breathtaking.  Very spiritual.  And it calmed me.  

I have lots of pictures posted on Facebook so hop on over there and take a look.

My new motto now is 'Back to Basics' and I need to remember that when others can't join in my adventure (or don't want to) I can always have fun and find a little self-therapy on my own.  :)

Hope all is well.  Only 10 more days til Dad's here!!

 

*Feelings Alert*

I feel unwanted and insignificant at this very moment....

Today I was invited to go somewhere, thinking it would only be a day event.  Imagine my surprise when the probability of staying the night landed on my shoulders, to be passively pressured to make the decision to stay.  I didn't want to stay the night....I didn't bring anything with me that would make staying the night comfortable.  I didn't know that staying the night was going to a possibility or else I probably wouldn't have gone.  I have nothing against the person who took me, or the pressurers wanting us to stay.  But I now feel like the bad guy for wanting to leave.  To go home and sleep in my own bed where I can take my contacts out, brush my teeth and feel comfortable....

And then I get home to the 'snugglies', watching a show (that I thought we were watching all together) without me.  Generally I wouldn't care.  But I already feel like the 3rd wheel with them and after having almost been brow-beaten into a situation I didn't want, well....it hit me in a strange way.

It's nights like this that make me ache for my family.  To feel like I belong.  That my thoughts, feelings and opinions matter.  To be free to speak my emotional mind without retaliation or the hurting of feelings...

I need a hug.  I need someone in my immediate vicinity to care.  I need someone to rub my hair and tell me everything will be ok.  


 

Friday!

My first day free of work responsibilities and it was a full one.

Sleeping has gotten to be an issue so by the time I was out, it had to have been 2am.  Regardless, I was up and awake around 10 this morning.  Decided to get things done and boy did I, lol.

Made an appointment for both a haircut and a massage.  Called to get information about packing paper.  Washed the car.  Got my hair cut.  Ran to the bank to deposit my last tips.  Picked up packing paper.  Took a book to the park and layed out to read for at least 3 hours.  Went to the fair to see the All American Rejects play...

And now here I am, planning my day for tomorrow.  

I'm thinking about going to the Saturday market.  Roomies and I are planning on going to see Weird Al Yankovic at the fair tomorrow evening and then probably going out dancing tomorrow night.  :)  

I purchased a replacement bed for when I sell my mattress.  (It's a bean bag that the insides fold out to form a bed.  Super awesome!)  And then all the furniture I had set out to sell will be gone.  Monday, before my massage appointment, I plan to start packing up all the clothes and breakables that I'm not going to need.  Dad will be here in 15 days and I feel like those are going to sky rocket by....

Leaving Eugene is going to be uber hard.  Comparing this city to Panama City is actually no comparison at all.  If it weren't for my family and new niece, I wouldn't be leaving.  And eventually, even though I love my family to death, even they will not be able to keep me in one place for very long.  I sooth the pain of leaving Oregon with the reassurance that life is not written in stone and that I can always move back up here. :)

 

Exhausted....

already and I've only worked two days. 

I think I have enough boxes.  I have all of the pieces-parts for my trailer hitch.  Plans and what-not are starting to come together and I'm diligently trying to cram together everything I can in the time and space I have until I leave.

I have already, tentatively, decided that if things are favorable next year that I would, without a doubt, move back up here to Eugene.  I guess I could liken it to a black hole.  But without the black or the hole, lol.  It's just a really cool place to live and hang out.  I can see why people gravitate here.  

On the flip side, I do miss my family.  I uncontrollably miss my dog.  It's so strange about the bonds that you can form with pets.  I love her like a child (she's spoiled like one too) and I can't wait to see her.  

As of now, there are only 18 days until my Dad's arrival.  That seems like it's going to go by fast.

I don't feel apprehensive about moving back home.  But I think that's only because I keep telling myself that it will only be for a little while.  I do want to be there for my sister and niece.  But I can't stay in PC to 'raise' her.  I'm not her mother.  And I've decided that if I keep my belongings down, than I can move at the drop of a hat anywhere I'd like.  With serving/waitressing experience under my belt, along with several other trades, I think I should be quite ok.

If only I could be in two places at once.....I guess that's why airplanes were invented.  :P

Hope everyone is doing well!  PC people, I will see you soon. :)

 

And away we go!

Busy weekend this weekend.  

Friday I hung out at the park for a little bit.  That seems to be the thing I do when I'm not working or straightening my room.  Plus it's free and a great alternative to shopping (which ISN"T free, lol.)  I should be pretty darn tan by the time I get back to FL.

Saturday morning I just kinda bummed around the house until a friend of mine called to see if I wanted to head over to Crescent, OR to where her parents own a motel.  We each backed a bag in case we decided to stay and took her brand new car.  The drive there was beautiful and we arrived around 5pm.  After hanging out with her parents and some of the motel tenants we decided to stay the night.  A bon fire was started up in the back yard and we sat around eating steamed oysters and drinking beer.  I'll admit, I had 3.  But I couldn't bring myself to eat any more than that, lol.  I think they are something that you either love or can't do.  

This morning we helped her mom clean a few rooms before we got on the road.  On the drive back she offered to stop at one of the waterfalls we pass and we got a few pictures.  I don't have them on photobucket yet but they are on my facebook if you're interested in looking.  After driving that way and reviewing the map, I think dad and I might have time to swing down to Crater Lake.  It's less than a 3 hour drive.....I'll have to ask him.

So this evening I've just been recouping and getting laundry ready for my next 4 days of work.  Only 2 more weeks....or technically, 8 more days of working for me.  

I've also sold a few more pieces of furniture today.  My bookshelf and night stand are gone.  Only two things left to go are the tv stand and my bed.  Hopefully I can get this stand gone soon.  I have a couple of friends interested in the bed so we'll see. :)

Hope everyone is doing well!  

 

Rework in progress....

Bare (bear?) with me while I fiddle with my layout....

Might change a few times.  

A Smidge of Progress

So the cleaning and sorting begins!

The first 'look through' and Goodwill drop off has occurred.  Tomorrow I will be transferring my TV to my dresser (which I've decided to keep) and advertise my TV stand, bookshelf and end table for sale.  Even though I have 30 days until Dad gets here, I have a feeling that it's going to go by quickly....

Yesterday I turned in my notice at the restaurant.  My last day is the 16th.  I made my last rent payment today.  I also ordered my trailer hitch, wiring and hitch ball.  

I'm going to miss this town.  I spent at least 3 hours today laying on a blanket, in the sun, in the park reading a book.  I will miss that.  I'll miss that today didn't get higher than 85 degrees and there was an amazing breeze.  The trees are so green which makes the sky look so much bluer.  It is truly gorgeous in this part of the country.

I'm sure I've said it before and I will probably say it again.....Moving away is going to be very bitter-sweet.
 
Maybe someday Oregon will call me back. ;)

(If only I could get my family to move up here, haha)