I am me

I am me. 

In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. 

Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it -- I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. 

Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. 

I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know -- but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me. However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me.

If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. 

I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things around me. 

I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. 

I am me, 

and I am Okay.

-Virginia Satir

Thinking Positive

Well....there is no way I could say that the last month has been easy.

I got a job at Uhaul.  After the first day, I was done.  I guess I've been kinda spoiled in all the other jobs I've had, even though serving was hard - I like it and didn't dread going to work everyday.  Uhaul just sucked from the beginning.  So I quit that one after a day.  Which helped because Laura's boyfriend hurt his back and I got to nanny the baby for about a month.

Then I got a job at Panera Bread.  I guess I didn't realize that technically Panera is fast food.  I've never worked fast food.  And this past week I learned why.  It sucked!  I'm not afraid of hard work but being one person responsible for the work of three is just ridiculous.  Especially for minimum wage.  So after 3 days of training, I respectfully handed back my hat.

Wednesday I start work at the Hallmark store in the mall.  Pays the same as Panera but doesn't require me to run myself ragged for nothing.  I also filled out an application at Applebee's so if I can work both, I'll be making some decent money before I head back to Oregon.

Yes, I'm going back to Oregon and I plan on staying there until something else might come up.  Looking into heading back the beginning of February but right now that's still speculative.  I'm just trying to work on one thing at a time.

 

I miss...

The seasons - it's still too humid here
My friends - Danielle, Kenny, Kole, Stephen, everyone from Mcgrath's, everyone from Macy's
The park
The food
The beer
The parties
Girl's night
The mountains
The coast
The trees
The bike paths

After all this time I finally feel like I know where I belong. Now to just get back there....